As in any other New Year, I started with the thought of writing and paying off my debts. And each year I always realize life works against me.
The end of the last year blurred together since my tonsils were removed. Yet I purchased books to read on writing and organizing my life. At the same time, my grandmother strange behavior worried the entire family. My father and aunt believed age played a big part in her behavior.
The truth shocked everyone. Cancer spread through her lungs and up to her brain. Just months before, she had been given a clean bill of health and now brain cancer explained all of her behavior in the past couple of months. When she passed away at the age of 83, we knew she lived a long life which included grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Between everything, my three cats stopped eating and drinking water. No one knows why and I loss one back in December of 2009. Did the changes in the house make them unhappy? I will never know and March my second cat died. My oldest cat survived and it back to her normal self. After 5 months of forced feeding and weekly visits to the Vet, I accepted the fact I could not do anything to save the other two.
My writing goals suffered throughout these months. No matter if I started, I couldn’t write more than my daily activities in my planner. And the situation at my day job continued to press me into a corner. The knowledge of being laid off at some point filled my mind and I had no desire to write any fiction. I focused on internet marketing in the coming months as a side job. When I didn’t work, I read everything on how to do internet marketing. Forums, ebooks and everything in between consumed my time. Mentally exhausted from my day job, I failed but I have knowledge in marketing on the web.
Then I turned to non-fiction writing on the Associated Content as a test to see if is something I would want to do. It built up my confidence. Through I knew a freelance writer involved much work with query letters to editors, I wanted to know my writing skills were good enough.
The fated day happen at my job at the end of June and I had one more week left to say good-bye to the place I worked since my senior year in high school. In a few months, I would have completed 10 years with them. I planned to work there until I sold a book to a publisher, but plans don’t always work out the way you want to.
Everything went on hold as I struggled on what to do next in all aspects of my life. At least my unemployment checks let me survive but I still needed a day job to pay off all my debts. The months followed with no luck with a new job after hours of searching. I worked little on my novel and started every day the plan to write, but it barely ever happen.
November approached soon enough. My third attempt at National Novel Writing Month. I experienced the best month of this year as I made it to over 70k written for the first time ever in my life. I can write each day without any problems. The knowledge raised my hope of being a full-time writer. But this joy did not last. The last day of November I came down with the 48 hour bug and it took me almost a week to recover completely.
My novel remains unfinished. I cannot find any drive to write more than two days in a row. I even started a new novel and have a couple more ideas to work on, yet no inspiration moved me to write. The year has ended on the low end and I don’t think it can get any worse in 2011. I have my health, my families, my friends, and my goals. All I end is a day job and put my foot down and start writing again.
